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My 1st strike

November 22, 2018 /

This week, I gave one of the Eagles in my studio my first strike (see this post ify ou forgot what strikes are 😊).

A strike is an event that is supposed to be relatively unusual, acute, and is handled very seriously by the guides. In the five weeks since the beginning of the year, only Kai gave strikes (and not many were given). I mainly watched and learned. Up to last Friday, the Eagles came on time to the beginning of the circle,and I was about to play a TED video about architecture. Before I could say a single word, one of the Eagles looked at the screen and said, “Oh no, TED,I hate TED, it’s so boring. Such bummer that we are going to watch a TED video,I bet it’s going to be horrible”. Everyone laughed, and then someone told him “You know it’s a strike, right?” He smiled, and then he cynically said, “Oh no, I got confused, I love TED so much, TED is the most interesting in the world” and everyone said after him “Yes, TED is interesting” (cynically of course). I did not say anything. I waited for them to finish and started the circle as usual.

After we finished, the pairs got to work on their assignment, I asked that same Eagle to come with me to the other room. He sat down, and I told him “You said at the beginning of the circle that TED is boring, right?” He said”Right”. “This is a break of the studio’s basic rules, and you get a first strike”. I saw that he was very upset about it, and I gave him a few seconds to come to terms with it. Then we had a fifteen-minute conversation that was fascinating to me. At first, we tried to understand why this rule is important, that is, why we decided that one of the four basic rules is that de-moralization is not allowed in the studio. We’ve realized what negative impact such a statement can have on Eagles’ learning and their desire to be part of the circle. Then we talked more deeply about what he said: I tried to understand why he thought all TED videos were boring.We talked about TED videos he’d seen before, and I told him a bit about TED in general, about its extent and its characteristics. We agreed that apparently not all TED videos are boring, and I also gave him a personal assignment to find an interesting TED video and bring it to the studio. In the end, we talked about how much power there is to the thought that the video is boring before it even started, and how such a thought actually causes him not to listen to what is happening in the video because he is sure that it’s boring in the first place. It was a good, real conversation for both of us, no anger and much learning. When we finished it, I asked him to stay in the room for a few more minutes to think about what had happened, and then he went back to work with the other Eagles.

What did I learn here?

  1. The strike has a lot of power and meaning. Since it’s only about four rules, which are basic rules, it’s very important to enforce them and not disregard them. The fact t hat we as guides treat them so seriously also conveys their importance to the Eagles.
  2. Even when a Eagle chooses to break one of these rules, he has a lot of learning to do: in this process, he reflected with himself and with me, and together we examined why he chose to say this sentence, what he earned, what he lost, etc.This learning is no less significant than any other learning in the studio.
  3. I was very stressed by the conversation, and I wanted to be clear on one hand, and not too aggressive on the other. I discovered that this experience was completely pleasant in the end, and I also learned a lot from it. I discovered once again that I can trust myself, and to know that I come with the right intention of guidance and direction, and therefore the result also directs and doesn’t humiliate or destroy.
  4. I once again discovered how important it is to trust the Eagles. Most of the learning in the conversation was done by the Eagle. I asked questions, but in the end,he came to conclusions by himself. Once again, I realized how powerful these Eagles are when I trust them: I trust that they can overcome and not break and trust them to learn the most accurate lesson for them.
  5. The last and concrete word about this rule: Only last Friday did I realize how significant it is and why it was chosen to be one of the four basic rules. The fact that Eagles know they cannot show negativity and de-moralization in the studio is so important for building a constructive and positive atmosphere. If something does not appeal to the Eagles, they can sit aside and not participate. Of course, they can express their opinion, radical as it may be, in a dignified and worthy manner. But just sitting and complaining, and spoiling the atmosphere, is outside the rules. And that’s wonderful in my opinion.