Peace Table

For several weeks now, Alden and I have been troubled by the fact that the Eagles in the studio do not use the peace table enough to resolve their conflicts. Whenever there is a quarrel or an argument, they prefer to demand Eagle Bucks from each other and almost never sit down to try to solve the problem constructively. Alden tried to lead a launch on this issue, but even when he asked the Eagles to demonstrate how to use the peace table to solve a made up conflict, the conflict escalated and they could not get to any solution.

In order to progress further in the subject, Alden and I decided to fake an argument and then demonstrate to the Eagles how the peace table works. We were both late on purpose when it was time to enter the launch. We heard the Eagles say “It’s time!” from the studio and laughing at us for being late and we stormed in together with each of us accusing the other for being late. Alden said that I was in charge of the launch, I said that he was in charge, he said that I make him look like a fool, I said that he really is a fool. He said that I am unorganized, I said he was the most unorganized person I have ever met and then he told me “That is it. Let’s go to the peace table”. The Eagles liked the idea of ​​the show very much and laughed a lot which already led to a good and open atmosphere.

Alden and I sat down and first of all each one took ten deep breaths. Then Alden started by telling me he was very offended when I told him he was a fool and in addition he was sure we agreed that I was in charge of the launch. I said that I heard him say he was offended by me, and he was sure we agreed that I was in charge of the launch. I added that I was sorry about saying he is a fool, and that it was inappropriate, but I’m sure we agreed he was in charge of the launch. Alden said he heard me say that I was sorry and he accepted the apology. He added that now he is not sure what we agreed to do and he feels we both should be more organized. I said that I heard him saying that we both should be more organized and I agreed. I suggested to make an agreement at the beginning of each week about who is responsible for what and I volunteered to write down a plan so that it will be clear and documented. We both thanked each other and said that we feel much better and we’re glad that this conflict is solved.

The Eagles listened to our conversation attentively and then we had a very interesting discussion about what made our conversation successful. They came to the conclusion that there were two very significant elements in our conversation: The first one was taking responsibility – once I took responsibility for the fact that I offended Alden, a lot of tension was released. The second element is being gracious when the other side shows vulnerability: As soon as I apologized for insulting Alden, he admitted that he was not really sure what exactly we had agreed on. The Eagles said that these two elements do not exist in their conversations because they are constantly busy trying to be right, therefore they cannot move forward together to find solutions to problems that bother them.

Bottom line, in my opinion, this was an excellent discussion. I think that being able to solve conflicts is a very important skill for life and using the Peace table can help the Eagles building this skill. Ideally the Eagles would have gone through the experience by themselves, but when that fails (as it did in the case of the peace table), the guides can role model an approach before handing the responsibility back to the Eagles.